Experience Sharing: Some insights on eliminating a complaining heart and a jealous heart
Written by practitioner Luo Juan (羅娟)
Greetings to Master, and hello to fellow practitioners.
I officially began my cultivation journey at the beginning of 2003, and I would like to share some of my experiences with overcoming tests of xinxing in my cultivation, hoping to encourage myself and fellow practitioners.
Eliminating the Complaining Heart
Master said, “Those ordeals and the suffering, no matter how great or harsh you find them to be, are good things, because they take place solely on account of your cultivation. ” Fa Teaching at the 2008 New York Conference.
When I encountered tests of xinxing, I gained a deeper understanding of Master’s Fa. On one occasion, a fellow practitioner got angry with me over something, but I held my temper and didn’t argue.
Later, in a group sharing, the practitioner mentioned the incident and said she realised she had harboured feelings of complaint toward me, and through this conflict, she improved her xinxing. However, I felt wronged, thinking that she had placed all the blame on me while recounting the events. I realised I had a strong attachment to saving face, and though I kept quiet, I was suppressing my feelings of frustration.
The next morning, during a Fa study session with the media project group, a fellow practitioner shared her understanding after reading Master’s teaching “Stay Out of Danger”. She said that when she read the text, she had thought to herself, “I have no complaints toward Master.” At that moment, Master’s words from Fa Teaching Given in Manhattan came to her mind: “When you butt heads with that person, it actually equates to butting heads with me.”
The practitioner said that she immediately understood that her complaints toward others, when examined deeply, were actually complaints toward Master. They stemmed from her reluctance to improve when given opportunities to raise her xinxing, and instead, she harboured resentment.
As I listened to the sharing, I couldn’t hold back my tears. I felt a warm energy flow through my body, washing away all my feelings of grievance. My heart was filled with gratitude toward Master. I realised that Master had painstakingly arranged this opportunity for both of us to improve our xinxing and eliminate karma accumulated over lifetimes. I am deeply grateful for the assistance my fellow practitioner offered on my cultivation journey and for Master’s compassionate salvation.
Master said in Fa Teaching Given in Manhattan: “starting now. Whether you are right or not is, for a cultivator, not important whatsoever. Don’t argue left and right, and don’t emphasize who’s right and who’s wrong. Some people are always stressing that they’re right, but even if you are right, even if you’re not wrong, so what? Have you improved on the basis of the Fa? The very act of using human thinking to stress who’s right and who’s wrong is in itself wrong. That’s because you are then using the logic of ordinary people to evaluate yourself, and using that logic to make demands on others. As gods see it, for a cultivator to be right or wrong in the human world is not important in the least, whereas eliminating the attachments that come from human thinking is important, and it is precisely your managing to eliminate those attachments rooted in your human thinking as you cultivate that counts as important. (Applause) If you can manage to handle things calmly no matter how wronged you may feel, if you can remain unmoved and not try to come up with some kind of excuse for yourself, then with many things you won’t even need to argue. That’s because on your path of cultivation there is nothing that is by chance. So, when you get into a heated exchange and it stirs things up in you, or you get into a conflict over something that concerns your vital interests, perhaps the factors behind it were put there by Master. Maybe you only get upset when it’s a case of someone saying something that really provokes you or hits a sore spot. And maybe the person really did treat you wrongfully. But, those words weren’t necessarily said by that person. Perhaps they were said by me. (Everyone laughs) I want to see how you handle things at the time. When you butt heads with that person, it actually equates to butting heads with me.”
Reflecting on my cultivation journey, I realised that many times, when I encountered conflicts, I would only endure on the surface without truly remaining unaffected. This superficial endurance was connected to my human personality; since childhood, I disliked arguments and preferred to keep the peace, even if it meant taking a loss. This allowed me to maintain harmonious relationships on the surface.
However, in my heart, I wasn’t truly acknowledging others’ perspectives or admitting my own mistakes, which led to the accumulation of resentment. This behaviour fell far short of the Dafa standards of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance.
A fellow practitioner once pointed out that I often say one thing while thinking another, and I knew this was a flaw of mine. It showed that I was not being “truthful” and had not fundamentally aligned myself with Dafa.
Of course, recognizing one’s shortcomings is only the first step. Completely eliminating them is a gradual process. In my experience, when negative thoughts arise, we don’t need to become overly anxious. As long as we can reject them, distinguish that they are not our true thoughts, and study the Fa with heart, Master will help us eliminate these degenerate elements.
Master said, “The Fa can break all attachments; the Fa can destroy all evil; the Fa can shatter all lies; and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts.” (The Essentials of Diligent Progress II, Drive Out Interference)
Eliminating the Jealousy Heart
I often have thoughts of looking down on fellow practitioners, which is an expression of jealousy. Even though I know this mindset is wrong, it still occasionally surfaces.
This year, I had an experience that deeply touched me and gave me a new understanding of the sacred connections between fellow practitioners.
There was a time when I was diligently doing the three things, but I became numb and sluggish, feeling that my xinxing was not improving. Instead, I relaxed and let my guard down and once again became addicted to watching idol dramas and videos. Even though my true self felt anxious, I didn’t have enough righteous thoughts to completely free myself from the attachment to watching TV.
One Sunday, after the group exercises, I was about to leave when a fellow practitioner suddenly called me over and offered me a Shen Yun card. I didn’t interact with this practitioner much before, so I was puzzled as to why she was giving me the card. She explained that since I came from mainland China and couldn’t go abroad to watch a live Shen Yun performance, she wanted to give me the card free of charge. She also asked me with great concern if I had a job at that moment.
This fellow practitioner thought I was having financial difficulties, so she wanted to give me a Shen Yun card so that I could also watch the Shen Yun performance. I am very grateful for her kindness. I told her that I have a job and thanked her for the Shen Yun card. I will give her the money the next time I see her.
After this fellow practitioner proactively gave me a Shen Yun card, I went home and logged onto the Shen Yun website. I saw that there was a symphony orchestra performance, so I clicked on it. When the majestic and grand Shen Yun music started playing, I immediately felt as if it penetrated my entire body, enveloping me in an energy field. I listened to one piece after another, feeling completely captivated.
After finishing my work every day, I listen to a few pieces of the Shen Yun Symphony Orchestra. Although I am an amateur when it comes to music, I feel that Shen Yun’s music is very rich in layers and has a profound meaning, which moves me in an indescribable way.
I also watch Shen Yun’s dance and short drama programs. In one program, the stage backdrop showed the image of Master, who looked at me with compassion. My tears immediately flowed, like a lost child finding their family, feeling a mix of sadness and joy. In my heart, I told Master that I would definitely cultivate well and return home with Master.
After watching Shen Yun programs for a few days, I found that I no longer had the desire to watch TV dramas. I realised that the fellow practitioner’s gift of the Shen Yun card was not a coincidence. It was Master seeing my lack of righteous thoughts and being trapped in attachments, so Master arranged all of this. I am deeply grateful to Master and the fellow practitioner.
This experience also made me realize that every disciple cultivating in Dafa is incredibly precious, and there is a sacred bond between fellow practitioners. My feelings of looking down on fellow practitioners and jealousy are manifestations of selfishness and evil thoughts from the old universe. Master wants us to cultivate into beings of the new universe, selfless and putting others before ourselves.
Forming a Whole
Master wants us to practise the exercise and study the Fa together, forming a whole. I realised that when each disciple integrates into this whole, we can help and encourage each other, making progress together. Perhaps an unintentional action of yours can greatly benefit others.
Speaking of forming a whole, Malaysia has very good conditions, with a place for group Fa study and group practice on weekends. However, I have noticed that some local practitioners have not participated in Fa study and group exercise for a long time.
Some practitioners from China were very enthusiastic and cherished the environment of group practice and Fa study when they first arrived. But after being here for a while, some stopped participating, and it is unclear why. If it is because of seeking comfort, that is not right. We all know that in the high-pressure environment in mainland China, Dafa disciples have lost the environment of group practice and study, and they study the Fa together under pressure. Now that we are overseas, ‘not to lose it easily just because you have obtained it easily.’ (Zhuan Falun, Lecture Six)
A fellow practitioner told me that practising at home is personal cultivation, while practising outside and spreading the Fa is fundamentally different. It is part of Fa-rectification cultivation and has different effects in saving sentient beings.
I agree with the fellow practitioner’s understanding. I have also experienced this when practising at tourist spots. Although I practise alone, when facing Chinese tourists, I can clearly feel a strong energy field, with Master strengthening and clearing the interference factors in the entire space field of the tourist spot, eliminating the evil beings and factors behind the Chinese tourists that hinder them from understanding the truth and being saved.
While writing this sharing article, fellow practitioners are studying the Fa and sharing at the Dafa centre. Due to some reasons, I could not go, so I can only study the Fa online with everyone. Even so, I feel that the quality and focus of my Fa study are much better than when I study alone at home, with fewer distractions. The sharing from fellow practitioners is also very beneficial to me.
I personally believe that participating in group practice and Fa study should not be done with a heart of seeking. If you feel that you have not improved by participating in group Fa study and practice, and therefore stop participating, I think it is very pitiful. Cultivation is about gaining without seeking, and you may have gained something without realising it. Moreover, group practice and Fa study are Master’s requirements for us, and as disciples, we should unconditionally follow Master’s words.
Therefore, I hope that both local practitioners in Malaysia and practitioners from China can harmonise as a whole, participate in group practice and Fa study, and unconditionally harmonise what Master wants, forming a whole and better saving sentient beings.